Old Trafford one Giant Advert

Louis Van Gaal’s press conferences over the course of his career have consisted mainly of him discussing his famous ‘philosophy’. During his second spell in charge of the Netherland’s national team he mentioned how “names matter to the media but not to me”. Van Gaal, in his words, “continually plays players who best fit the team; never those who are just big names”.

When the Dutchman sat down to be interviewed for the first time as Manchester United manager during the club’s pre-season tour to the United States, he summed up his philosophy in one straightforward sentence.

The often eccentric former Ajax boss declared “I’m not a coach who thinks short-term, I am a coach who thinks always in the long-term”.

The strike partnership between Robin van Persie and Radomel Falcao in United’s forward-line this season certainly is not the future; it’s not even the present.

United’s attacking play this season has resembled a figure having been struck by lightning as opposed to the electrifying force of the blinding bolt itself. Both players were once renowned for the way they played the game in their head, albeit in slightly different ways.

Van Persie always harbored the creative streak one would expect a son of two artists to possess; as well as angling in beautiful finishes he was capable of dropping deep and assisting his inferior teammates (he assisted the most goals in the 2008/9 Premier League season).

Falcao on the other hand crept around the opponent’s final third waiting for the ideal opportunity to pounce on the space they vacated.

When the Colombian speaks about his slithery movement he refers to it as ‘strategic’. “It is part of the efficiency of a striker, to be able to position yourself, be able to intuit what the move is going to be, and be able to lose your defenders”.

Physically however, both look short of the high level expected of strikers at Old Trafford. Both men have been slain by injuries for periods in the past. Falcao’s acceleration in particular has diminished. While he once flashed beyond the Barcelona defence and delicately lay Victor Valdes down as you would a sleeping baby, he is restricted to the penalty box nowadays; a place where he admittedly did most of his damage but a limiting reference that slights just how formidable he was.

This shortage of speed shrinks the effect of United’s sole world class performer, Angel Di Maria. The Argentine, while sometimes wasteful in possession, thrives with space to gallop into. A darting forward driving behind centre backs and into the channels would force opposition defences backwards and allow Di Maria to advance menacingly (and ominously) toward the box with venom.

Unsurprisingly, The Red’s attacking difficulties are visible when assessing the season’s statistics.

United sit 10th in shots per game with 12.6, which is behind every other team in the top half of the table with the exception of Swansea. While they improve when adjusting the metrics to shots in the penalty area (6.5 per game) and shots in open play (9.3), the gain is marginal; Van Gaal’s men lie 8th in the league under both criteria (strangely behind Queens Park Rangers, although QPR are the outlier here, not United).

Individually, Robin van Persie sits just outside the top 20 players in the league who have played at least 1000 minutes in shots per game in 21st (tied with Saido Berahino, Conor Wickham and Abel Hernandez on 2.5), with his Colombian partner further down in 39th (1.9). For the sake of balance, measuring their shots per ninety minutes as opposed to per game moves Falcao up to 24th (2.9 per 90), while the Dutchman slips to 26th (2.7 per 90).

One positive piece of data for United’s frontline is van Persie’s 2.2 shots per 90 minutes inside the opponent’s penalty area, which puts him 8th in the Premier League (excluding Frank Lampard due to a lack of minutes). Frankly however there is an element of clutching at straws here; van Persie’s contribution this season pales in comparison with him at his optimal level and Sergio Aguero (4.3 per 90) gets just under twice as many efforts from the box as the former Arsenal hitman (in between the two sit Wilfried Bony, Diego Costa and Danny Welbeck from the top sides).

Against Burnley on Wednesday night the pair’s only shot was van Persie’s successful penalty, while the fact this was the club’s first penalty of the season is a consequence of a lack of touches in the box.

As touched upon by Robbie Dunne yesterday, the elephant in the room here is Jorge Mendes. Since Ed Woodward replaced David Gill as the club’s chief executive, his relationship with the Portuguese superagent has blossomed. The two send family photos to each other, while Mendes’ daughter reportedly attended Old Trafford last season for a period of work experience.

A previous version of Louis van Gaal would have ignored any involvement from any member of the club’s hierarchy.

A previous version of Louis van Gaal however wouldn’t have fielded a reactive Dutch side at the World Cup, he wouldn’t have bowed to pragmatism and utilised Marouane Fellaini’s aerial ability.

A previous version of Louis van Gaal would’ve waged war against the club last summer.

When Van Gaal was unveiled as United manager at a press conference post-World Cup he revealed how he came to realize how big a club he had joined.

“Within two days I know already how important Manchester United is, but (also) how important the sponsors are”.

Jorge Mendes doesn’t have any advertising hoardings on display around Old Trafford. The signs of his influence at Manchester United are on the pitch.

*All statistics are from www.whoscored.com/

The Special One V2

Jose Mourinho is either lying or he has been fooled by the milkman, because neither the man-child bear-hugging the Chelsea manager during his exuberant celebration after defeating Manchester City nor the red-haired youngster next to him share much of a resemblance to the Portuguese protagonist. Maybe one of these is Mourinho Jr., who’s to say Jose’s son isn’t a supporter of Leitrim GAA like the beaming young fan pictured behind the City bench on Sunday afternoon? However if we take the past into consideration we can cut through the superfluous excuse spewed out of Mourinho’s mouth with Occam’s Razor. The self-anointed Special One had zero interest in celebrating with his son after Fernando Torres capitalised on City’s defensive combustion at Stamford Bridge, his actions were provocative, premeditated and unprofessional; his intent was vintage Mourinho.

For a manager who merges football with the extravagancy of showbiz like no other Sunday was a nadir. Jose ran out of new ideas to shock the audience and reignite the feud with his predecessor at Real Madrid Manuel Pellegrini so he reverted to a stale trick, previously performed at the Bernabeu two seasons ago after a Kaka goal sealed a victory late on over Villareal. Mourinho danced in front of the Yellow Submarines’ bench, emphatically raising his arms at his son who was (supposedly) conveniently located behind their dugout. Repeating his once original antics yesterday was proof that Mourinho just doesn’t do effortless irritation as gloriously as he used to.

Mourinho’s managerial career began with a lie in Portugal. During a meeting with the Porto board in January 2002 the then 38 year old dazzled his future employers by narrating a detailed slide-show he had created highlighting the vision and philosophy he promised to bring to the provincial powerhouse were he given the keys at the club.

Under Mourinho the club would aspire to win the largest number of titles possible playing an attractive brand of football with a team containing as many home-grown players as possible. As time progressed it became clear the 28 slides were blatant plagiarism, cut from a longer presentation Louis VanGaal gave to the Barcelona board at the beginning of his time in Catalonia, yet the Porto board were unaware of this at the time and fortunately hired Mourinho on the spot.

Once he had got his leg up however, he was never going to stop. Love him or loathe him, the fifty year old is an insanely great manager, pairing exceptional tactical nous with an extraordinary ability to inspire his charges to bring him success.

Samuel Eto’o thanks God for delivering him to Mourinho at Inter Milan, while the Portuguese carefully caressed Zlatan Ibrahimovic with silk gloves, creating a symbiotic relationship between the pair where Zlatan would get the goals and “be prepared to die” for his boss, while Jose would get the glory. Mourinho is obsessed with two things; success and his image, how he is perceived. At Real Madrid he insisted on sitting in seat D10 on away journeys in the Champions League as Real attempted to finally win La Decima (10th European Cup). 

Rationally, any fan of any team would cherish Mourinho at their club as he comes with inevitable success. However sport isn’t the most rational sphere of human activity. Greece succeeding in Euro 2004, Liverpool fans thinking “I don’t speak to blacks” is a term of endearment, that Newcastle fan punching a horse; none of those things should happen (actually, maybe the last one should).

Ethically you could make a case for never wanting to see the man at the helm of your club. As Mourinho announced at his unveiling as Real Madrid manager he comes on his terms: “I arrive with all my qualities and my defects." His qualities have been mentioned already, his defects? Well, there’s a strong case to be made that the sole display of class during his career has been when he wished Barcelona manager Tito Vilanova well in his recovery from cancer. While a noble act, it’s not too idealistic to have taken this as a given.

Events like the previous eye-gouging incident with Vilanova and his contribution to the death-threats which led to Anders Frisk’s retirement have not only sabotaged Mourinho’s reputation but also his cv. Football-wise he tends to leave a trail of scorched earth behind him following his definite three-year stay at clubs, a trait unlikely to go unnoticed by clubs searching for a stable and successful marriage. After years of public courting Jose was ignored this summer when the one job he felt destined for became available.

Jose Mourinho’s first clash with Alex Ferguson at Chelsea in August 2004 resulted in a 1-0 victory but also a rather forced admission of inferiority: "I told Mr. Ferguson that United didn't deserve to leave Stamford Bridge with nothing." Jose Mourinho’s last clash with Alex Ferguson resulted in a 2-1 victory but also another rather forced admission of inferiority: “The best team lost”.

Bobby Charton and the powers that be at United didn’t take the bait. “He pontificates too much for my liking” claimed Charlton, as well as suggesting ‘Mr. Ferguson’ wasn’t as fond of his peer as had been suggested and stating a United manager would never act like the man publicly whoring himself to the red half of Manchester.

Wounded, he has returned to the Premier League under the guise of ‘The Happy One’ but make no mistake, this is Special One v2, inspired by rejection and fuelled with the bitterness of a teenage girl whose best friend pulled the county centre-back behind her back. There will be even more arrogance, every word will be loaded with political meaning and aimed at a particular target; every action will want to have been seen.

The Prodigal Son has returned having seemingly seen the light, his new aversion to diving and cynical fouls reinforced by his love for the Red Rose of England. "Some foreign players when they come to England still keep their culture and it's a disgrace you do that to a person”. Even time-wasting is treated with contempt: ”you pay your ticket and every time the game stops you have to wait about half a minute? That is a waste of money. That’s not funny. Not in England”.

Jose Mourinho can survive on lies, if anything lies are essential to his being. However the first sign of terminal decline is telling the same lie twice, and this red flag has been raised after just nine games of the season.

England's Brightest Light Fading

In England supreme footballing talents are supposedly born rather than manufactured. This unfair definition has been attached to the nation’s potential saviours for decades, most notably the effervescent Paul Gascoigne and more recently Wayne Rooney, suggesting that their fortunes have been predetermined rather than the consequence of an innate desire to succeed.

However in truth such majestic abilities are only attained with arduous amounts of dedication. The psychologist Anders Ericsson’s theory of ‘the 10,000-hour rule’ states that a genuinely world class talent only arises after at least 10,000 hours practice in any specific field, whether it be concert violinists, chess players or sports stars.

Wayne Rooney most certainly reached this milestone earlier than most. Growing up in Croxteth, an under-developed neighbourhood in Liverpool, he knew nothing but football as a child, testing his own abilities by utilising urban monuments like stop-signs as targets and passing cars as five-man walls. Wayne’s background in street football reads more like the childhood of a great South American 10, a pristine presence in the dreary, impoverished suburban landscape of his home-town.

The first time he drew astonishment from the Everton faithful he was a ten-year old mascot, casually lobbing one of the best goalkeepers in the land, Neville Southall, repeatedly during a warm-up. While the retort from the Welshman, who made 578 appearances for the Goodison outfit, may have seemed cruel, it was worn as a badge of honour by the “flash git” 28 years the keeper’s junior.

One might have expected the matured Rooney to have been cherished by all around him and coveted by others abroad. However it is impossible not to assess the Manchester United striker’s career in recent years and not wonder where has his ability to sparkle and dazzle the world disappeared?

Rooney is truly unique in the sense that not only does he possess the cerebral brilliance to decide games of significant magnitude but also phenomenal physical attributes allowing him to forcefully drag trophies to the north-west. He covers an almost excessive amount of ground for an attacking player, essential in modern ‘leftist’ football where forwards must defend, while his broad frame and impermeable stamina level allow him to brush off powerful defenders with ease for the ninety minutes.

Rooney, often derided as a blunt, unintelligent Neanderthal figure approaches the game in a way which makes a mockery of his public persona. Not only does he study the art of scoring goals and calculating spatial patterns on the pitch, but the Liverpudlian considers the avant-garde sporting technique of visualisation as an integral component of his success. "Part of my preparation is I go and ask the kit man what colour we're wearing -- if it's red top, white shorts, white socks or black socks” before the Premiership champion’s number 10 visualises himself in various match situations while lying in bed before he rests. “You're trying to put yourself in that moment and trying to prepare yourself”; Rooney’s goal-scoring success is testament to his mental preparation.

However despite collecting his fifth league title this week it has been an ultimately disappointing and almost embarrassing season for Rooney, who has been reduced to a tactical pawn in key games, or worse a substitute like against Real Madrid on the biggest night of the year at Old Trafford. For a footballer once applauded by the likes of David Beckham and Michael Owen at his first international training session for slaloming beyond two defenders before toying with David James, this is borderline criminal.

Yet on paper it seems illogical as to why a club of this stature would part with a marketable footballer of immense talent during what should be considered his peak years as a professional.

Perhaps United have serious doubts over whether Rooney can regain his place as one of the best forwards in the world. He has been involved in first team squads for Premiership teams since the age of sixteen at Everton and as an integral part of Alex Ferguson’s squad often plays close to fifty high intensity matches a season. Burn-out is increasing common in early-starters at the elite level across Europe in modern times, the recent struggles of Fernando Torres stand out as arguably the most comparable case study on the problem.

Rooney himself certainly hasn’t helped his own situation. The coaching staff at Carrington have grown disillusioned with his biennial pre-season return overweight from international tournaments.

But the biggest error Rooney, so often well advised by his agents and PR bosses, has made was publically denouncing the ambition of the club under Alex Ferguson in the autumn of 2010. While it initially appeared as if the player was the winner in the saga, earning an enhanced lucrative contract, the dogmatic Scot has never forgotten the betrayal.

Ever the pragmatist, Ferguson only cares for his own club. Two years ago he was willing to cede power to his sole premium level attacker, fully aware that his team couldn’t compete to win honours in Europe without Rooney. However with the inclusion of Robin van Persie last summer, Rooney is now a dispensable figure at the club. 

With the 27 year old desperate to stay in Manchester, he’s having to alter his game and prove himself in a deeper midfield role during what could prove to be the eleventh hour of his United career. While some always believed Rooney possessed the tenacity and energy to play in the heart of a great United team initial signs suggest he’s not the answer to Ferguson’s midfield issues.

Over the years Rooney has transformed into a complete striker, capable of finishing chances with either leg or distorting his neck muscles to direct crosses towards the goal regardless of the quality of the delivery. Should he stay at Old Trafford he will in all likelihood become the leading scorer of England’s most decorated club as well as The Three Lions. Dropping Rooney deep and away from the scene of his spectacular bicycle kick against Manchester City devalues his capabilities and undoubtedly lessens his contribution to the team. Against West Ham last week Rooney only had one solitary touch of the ball in the opposition box.

Whether we see Rooney score goals like his flawless volley against Newcastle or the sublime chip lofted over David James in the Portsmouth net appears increasingly unlikely as time progresses towards the summer and if we do it may well be in different colours.

The market for Rooney could ensure he remains in England beyond the Summer. However, while a risk, shipping him away against his wishes would ensure Ferguson’s glass of red would be even more enjoyable than usual after October 2010. Gravely, the most talented individual England has produced in twenty years broke the golden rule in belittling Alex Ferguson. “If anyone steps out of my control, that's them dead”. He may have outfoxed the master politician on one occasion, but Rooney still lacks the judgement of his boss when it comes to picking his battles.